Yankee Candle

The Yankee Candle Flagship Store in South Deerfield Massachusetts is the second most visited tourist attraction in that historic state. Really. A funny fact when you think that Massachusetts is the home of the Boston Tea Party, the Boston Aquarium, the Old South Church and the Freedom Trail. But who doesn’t love the many scents of Yankee Candle? Apple pie baking, mistletoe, lavender, something for every season.

I am taking my mother to the second most visited tourist attraction in a few days. Caring for aging parents is more than attending doctor visits and carrying medication lists in your wallet. It is more than making certain showers are taken once or twice a week and clothes are changed daily.

So often I hear a family caregiver say that they want to return to being the daughter or the son. Senior care can mean losing yourself in the activities of daily living, the essential tasks that are required for independence.

Activities of daily living include feeding oneself, use of the toilet and remaining accident free (continence or incontinence), transfer ability or the ability to move from one place to another, dressing and undressing, and bathing.

A step towards even greater independence for seniors is the management of Instrumental activities of daily living. These include handling personal finances, meal preparation, shopping, traveling, doing housework, using the telephone, and taking medications.

Just reading the list is exhausting and we didn’t even start to talk about meaningful time. Because the truth is that none of the ADLs or IADLs are the things that make us unique, that define who we are, or contribute to quality of life.

Once we begin to share time with the elderly in a meaningful way we begin to find the person behind the tasks. We understand what makes a good day great for both the senior and the family caregiver when we share a story, a joke, a song, a memory.

Caring for seniors is an honor. Often it takes outside help with ADLs and IADLS so that family can spend meaningful time together as they did in times for greater independence. Of course, the best outside caregivers will also look for moments to share meaningful time and I will give thought to these in my next post.

The Yankee Candle Flagship store will be a great and meaningful day for my mother, my sister and I. It is big enough that a map will be handed to us as we enter. We will read the map, make choices together to visit the Bavarian Village, Santa’s Wonderland or Wax Works first. There will be music and good smelling stuff and we will share in a meaningful time that I will never forget.