Independence vs Safety

Independence vs Safety

We know the conversations and the concerns. As private and delicate as they are, we can help you with these critical conversations.

The reason you are reading this is probably because Mom or Dad wants to stay in their home. And they feel they are doing well.  But, you are concerned. You have seen some signs lately and you feel it is time to do something. They want to wait. Your fear is they will wait too long and end up in the hospital, rehab and then nursing home. And lose what they really want, their independence to stay in their home.

You are on the right track—a little help now, goes a long way in staying independent. But they don’t see it that way.

We can help you have these conversations with love and confidence. We know the statistics. But better yet, we know the emotion and the fear of letting someone come into their space and help.

“The reality is that the people don’t have the conversation, and then they have a fall or they get a chest infection and before you know it it is a crisis situation and the default position is that someone needs to go into a nursing home or hospital.

What needs to happen is the plans need to be put in place beforehand, people need to have an early conversation about positive support and what you can do to protect your independence.  People are more likely to have a crisis in the first place if they do not have the help.”

Richard Preece, Medical Director, Allied Healthcare

Independence vs. Safety--How Do I Convince My Parents They Need HelpThe first call came to us from their financial planner. “I have a couple I want you to contact. They don’t think they need help, but I am worried for them.  Could you please do your best to convince them to get your service started?”

We called.  We scheduled a free assessment.  We had a great visit.  They loved us.  They loved knowing it would be a senior who would help them.  She needed care; he was the caregiver.  Sweet couple.  Still in love since High School.  Now in their 80’s.

But they were insistent they didn’t need our help–they couldn’t afford it.  Perplexed, we called back to the financial planner (the one guy who would know their financial plan, had already pre-planned their spend-down, and a long time friend of the family).  He went to their home again and revisited his logic with them–his calculations, the alternative of losing their independence, the Medicaid spend-down, the status of their reverse mortgage.  He was certain he had convinced them this was the intelligent course to take.  But, they still decided not to accept help, “We have plenty of free help from neighbors and our church.”

Six months later the gentleman fell down the stairs, doing the laundry, and he never recovered.  We got the call from the financial planner again.  He was clearly upset. “You have to get in there right away.  She needs help.  I just wish…  Please just go over there…”