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The Dos and Don’ts of Supporting a Friend Experiencing Loss

Date: March 18, 2018
Author: Erynn
Categories: Stories & Tips
Caregivers Are the New Working Moms

Loss is a part of life. When a friend experiences loss it’s hard to know what to do for them. Loss and grief are a private matter to some. It can be even harder if it’s a living loss, like maybe your friend’s mother has Alzheimer’s and now no longer remembers them. But you still want to help your friend. Here are the dos and don’ts of supporting a friend experiencing loss.

The Dos and Don'ts of Supporting a Friend Experiencing Loss

Do

  • Express your condolences. A sincere “I’m sorry for your loss,” and a hug can make all the difference to someone.

 

  • Stay in touch. Your friend might try to pull away during grieving, check in with them and see how they’re doing.

 

  • Show you care through words and action.

 

  • Be a safe place for them. If they come to you expressing their emotions, let them talk without judging or analyzing them.

 

  • Listen to them. Ask them questions about what you can do to help and what they need.

 

  • Do what they need. If a friend asks for help, do what they ask instead of what you think you should do.

 

  • Give them opportunities to talk about those who passed. Share stories with one another instead of trying to ignore the person who is gone.

 

  • Help them get the support they need. This may be professional help, let them know it’s a smart move and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

  • Encourage them to take it slow when reentering the world. It can be easy for someone to jump right back into work after a loss, they may think they are done grieving. Tell them to take their time and not overwhelm themselves.

 

  • Invite them out. Without any pressure, see if you can do a small, fun activity to get them out of the house and out of their head.

Don’t

  • Don’t assume you know how they feel.

 

  • Don’t use cliches when trying to comfort them. Just be supportive.

 

  • Don’t say anything that can be taken as “hurry up.” Do not say, “You’ll get over it,” “Time heals all wounds,” “In time, you will have closure,” or any similar types of advice.

 

  • Don’t give them advice if they don’t ask for it.

 

  • Don’t compare your loss to theirs. It’s not a competition.

 

  • Don’t try to do any quick fixes to take away their pain.

 

  • Don’t take it personally if they pull away from you. They are sorting their emotions out and may want some alone time.

 

  • Don’t take over the conversation. Let them talk.

 

  • Don’t smother them with care. It can be easy to do since you want to help them, but they will need their space.

You can read more tips here.

7 Tips for a Different Kind of Grieving

Date: March 4, 2018
Author: Erynn
Categories: Stories & Tips
"Rational" Suicide is on the Rise Among Seniors

Grieving is a part of the circle of life. Grief can be a painful emotion. It can feel like it swallows you whole at some points. There are several different types of grieving. Here are seven tips for a different kind of grieving.

7 Tips for a Different Kind of Grieving

7 Tips for a Different Kind of Grieving

 

When a loved one has passed, the absence is obvious. But, what about when someone you love is slowly fading away? What if they are there, but not there really? How do you grieve for someone who is still here and at the same time, not let your life come to a complete stop? There are different names for these types of grief, anticipatory grief, frozen grief, and ambiguous grief.

1. Never Pressure Yourself or Others

Many people might think that you should just move on, but there is no closure for this type of grieving. It’s something that you have to learn to cope with differently than the “standard” grief.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

These feelings are normal. What’s not normal is if these feelings overwhelm you to the point of no longer functioning, or if you’re trying to escape these feelings through harmful behaviors. In these situations, you should seek the help of a professional.

3. Look for Support

Around you, you have friends and family who will love you and create a safe space for you to express yourself.

4. Boundaries

It can be tough to set boundaries, especially if those around you are well-intentioned, but when someone comes in and tells you what to do with your grief, that’s when you need to put your foot down.

5. Self Care

Loss and heartache can take their toll, so it’s important to take a few minutes for yourself. Exercise, meditation, journaling, and more can help. Schedule some time in your daily life to allow yourself to take a break.

6. Ask and Accept Help

It can be hard when you are trying to be strong to allow a helping hand, but it will ultimately be good for you. It can be small things like friends help with laundry or make you a dinner you can microwave throughout the week. Let them take some of these small tasks off your hands.

7. Allow Grief to Have Space, But Don’t Let It Take Over

It’s important that you allow your grief to breathe, but don’t let it take over your entire life.

Read more here.

Dogs in Funeral Homes Bring Comfort to Mourners

Date: December 3, 2017
Author: Erynn
Categories: Stories & Tips
Dogs in Funeral Homes Bring Comfort to Mourners

It’s been well established that therapy animals are a great deal of help for a variety of disorders but what about grieving? Across the country, dogs in funeral homes bring comfort to mourners. They bring peace and love to those who need at the most critical time.

Dogs in Funeral Homes Bring Comfort to Mourners

Dogs in Funeral Homes Bring Comfort to Mourners

 

There’s the factor that dogs bring unconditional love to the table which can be reassuring after a loved one passes away. It’s especially important for kids to have this kind of interaction because they may not be able to process everything, so they need that extra comfort.

Trained dogs can be a peaceful presence in funeral homes, a light in a dark time. Many mourners have appreciated having something warm to pet or hold while a funeral is happening. Dogs and other animals always seem to know who is having a hard time and will go that person first. They can comfort without saying a word.

You can read more here.