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98 Year Old Mother Moved into the Same Community to Take Care of her Son

Date: November 12, 2017
Author: Erynn
Categories: Stories & Tips
98 Year Old Mother Moved into the Same Community as her Son

As a wise woman named Ada Keating, says, “You never stop being a mum.” This is spectacularly true for Ada, who has an 80-year-old son named Tom. Tom is in an assisted living community, and Keating decided she was going with him. The 98-year-old mother moved into the same community as her son.

98 Year Old Mother Moved into the Same Community as her Son

98 Year Old Mother Moved into the Same Community as Her Son

 

Tom moved into Moss View because he needed more support. This can be a hard decision for some people. If you are having trouble bringing it up to your loved one, check out 7 Ways to Start the Senior Living Talk.

Ada, a widow, and mother of three other kids followed him. They enjoy playing games together and watching TV. Ada wishes Tom a good morning and good night every day.

Tom is happy to be able to spend more time with his mom and loves to give her big hugs. Age does not stop Ada from occasionally scolding Tom and telling him to behave himself.

The duo is popular on the internet as their sweet story spreads. This duo goes to prove that a mother’s love is never-ending.

Read the whole article here.

Alzheimer’s In The Family

Date: October 5, 2015
Author: Randy
Categories: Stories & Tips

Alzheimer’s In The Family

Alzheimer's care, Parkinson's Disease

Wandering, looking for a connection.

Come join Judy Loubier as she gives a free talk on the latest research on Alzheimer’s and presents an opportunity to share the struggles and the joy Judy-Profile-pictureof caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease.  When your parent or spouse has dementia and is increasingly confused, it can be hard to remember the person they were before the disease took over.  Your parent may be ‘different’ than the person you have always known, but they still long for connection and companionship.  Nurturing is a crucial part of what makes life worth living for all of us.  Connecting with others is at the core of our humanity and it remains the same when a person has dementia.

Judy possesses a wealth of ideas on connecting. Ideas for how you can grow that connection with your loved one, despite the advancement of the disease.

Grandma Needs Senior Care

Finding and keeping that connection

You will enjoy the evening.  This talk is FREE.  We know how hard it is to arrange your day and find alternative care at home.  But we also know you will find, like so many others, that this evening will be well worth your effort.

If you leave with some encouragement and just one more small tip, you will walk away refreshed!!

When: Thursday November 12,  2015
Where: Seniors Helping Seniors, 360 Rt 101, Suite 3B, Bedford, NH
Time:  6:30pm to 8:30pm

Seating limited to 16, reserve your seat now by filling in below. [vfb id=1]

About Judy Loubier

Judy has spent a lifetime in caring for others.  She is a Licensed Physical Therapist, a Certified Dementia Practitioner, a Certified Senior Advisor and she is the Owner and Executive Director of Seniors Helping Seniors NH, one of the fastest growing home care companies in NH.

Judy’s radio program “Caring For Seniors” is enjoyed on Wednesday mornings on the Girard at Large Radio Broadcast.  Judy covers the hot topics of Senior Care:

Care Giver Stress Home Safety
Fall Prevention Dementia Care
Alzheimer’s Care Advanced Directives
Taking the Keys Away From Dad How to Research Senior Care

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Alzheimer’s patients literally go back in time

Judy Loubier anchors “Caring For Seniors”

Loving Your Parent With Dementia

Date: August 3, 2015
Author: Randy
Categories: Stories & Tips

Loving Your Parent With Dementia

When your parent has dementia and is increasingly confused, it can be hard to remember the person they were before the disease took over.  Your parent may be ‘different’ than the person you have always known, but they still long for connection and companionship.  Nurturing is a crucial part of what makes life worth living for all of us.  Connecting with others is at the core of our humanity and it remains the same when a person has dementia.

It’s important to keep in mind that Dementia:

    • Is NOT something your parent can control
    • Is NOT a mental illness
    • Is NOT always the same for every person
    • It’s vital to remember that someone suffering from Dementia is an adult and needs to be treated as one

Dementia takes away the Roles and Responsibilities that always made us WHO we are.  If we honor our loved one’s wishes and help them to live a lifestyle as close to the one they had before they got sick, it will bring them a lot of comfort and reassurance.

The way we treat them and the activities we choose can both have a significant impact on making life easier for all.

 

Avoid taking on a parental tone

    1. Choose your words carefully. Always refer to undergarments as underwear-don’t call them diapers.
    2. Use an apron if they need to protect their clothing while eating and don’t refer to it as a ‘bib.’
    3. Avoid using the word ‘potty’ when you can just as easily ask if they need to use the bathroom.

 

That Little White Lie Can be Therapeutic

We often feel guilty when we lie to a loved one, but often we can relieve that guilt by using “Therapeutic fibbing.”  The Alzheimer’s Association refers to a therapeutic fib as a “fiblet.”

People with dementia can struggle with logic, rational thought, and emotional control. Therapeutic lies or fiblets may be appropriate when telling the truth might cause confusion, stress or anxiety, especially if our parent is experiencing life in a different “time zone.”

Let’s say your parent wants to drive to the market, but you believe he’s no longer a safe driver. Rather than saying he’s no longer safe to drive, say the car is in the shop for repair, you’ve misplaced your keys or offer to drive to the store, since you need to go out anyway.

We can remember to use the fiblet if we remember why we are using it.  Keeping the conversations pleasant is the objective.  Why? Your parent may not remember the details of the last conversation they had with you (regardless of how recent it was, even minutes), but they do remember the emotion of that conversation.  They remember if it was pleasant.  They remember if it wasn’t pleasant.  The memory of the emotion is in a different portion of the brain (amygdala) than the memory of the facts; and often the amygdala is unaffected by dementia (particularly Alzheimer’s form of dementia).

We hope these tips help you care for and understand your parent with dementia.

 

In Home Health Care Exeter NH

Date: July 31, 2015
Author: Pat
Categories: Stories & Tips

 

Announcing Elaina

In Home Health Care Exeter NH

Elaina

In Home Health Care Exeter NH is proud to announce Elaina.

Hometown:  I was born in Dover NH and currently live in Exeter NH.

Memorable Moment as a Caregiver:  I cared for a non-verbal 74 year old woman who didn’t like to be touched. However, when she saw my son and I hugging all the time, she finally approached me for a hug! I have always taken care of others my whole life.

Did you Know?:  I love to do arts and crafts.

In Home Health Care Exeter NH Senior Services for Seniors by Seniors.

We all need a little help from time to time.

We know it’s hard to ask for help. But, getting senior services from a loving, caring, compassionate senior who really understands what life is about is the best of both worlds.

Our senior helpers can assist with all the things you need – hygiene assistance, housekeeping, cooking, shopping, mowing the lawn, getting you to the doctor, or even just changing a light bulb — and they provide at home senior care with love. That’s why we say it’s just like getting a little help from your friends.™

We personally match you with elder care companions who will fit your personality and needs. And, we work the way it works best for you. Our senior home care services are available for you every day, any hour of the week and even overnight.

What we have discovered is that the people who use our in home senior care services come to love the people who provide our elder care. It’s about getting the help and so much more – it’s about adding joy and companionship back into life. We hear over and over again from those who receive our senior in home care services that: we change people’s lives.™

We exclusively hire senior caregivers

When you search for senior care, you want to find someone who is truly going to care from their heart. Our elder care helpers get paid, but they are not providing senior care for the income. Many of our home helpers were looking for volunteer opportunities when they found Seniors Helping Seniors. Most of our home care seniors provided senior home care for their own parents and saw them through all of the stages of later life, including Alzheimer’s care, incontinence, wandering, elderly transportation, etc. They learned elder care first hand, in their parent’s home, in their own homes, at the assisted living center, at the memory care unit, and at the hospital, at the hospice center and then back home for the last several months of life. They understand the need for respite care, because they used respite services themselves. And they understand the emotion involved in choosing to hire senior home care, knowing they couldn’t provide all the home elder care themselves.

Senior Care

Senior Care for Seniors by Seniors!

Our senior helpers know senior care–but more than that–they know how to give of their heart. Geriatric care is not a job for our seniors–it is a way to give. To give something a younger person cannot: a lifetime of experience in understanding others. Our senior helpers know what you are going through as a daughter or son. They know what your parent is going through, and they want to spend their retirement years being a joy to others. For them it is a way of giving and receiving.

Do you need Senior Care? Answer these questions to find out.

Do you have low motivation, a lack of energy, and/or physical problems?

Is your family worried about you falling?

Do you have difficulty keeping up with the daily chores around your home? House cleaning? Cooking? Changing linens?

Could you use assistance getting to the doctor? Or to the store?

Would you welcome help on the outside of your home such as gardening, shoveling, maintenance?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, it is worth talking to someone from Seniors Helping Seniors in-home services. Just ask for a free evaluation.

 Call us: 603-801-1936 (or) Email us: judy@shs-nh.com

 

It was personal experience with their own parents that led friends and business partners, Judy and Randy Loubier and Ben and Nancy Paquin to start Seniors Helping Seniors senior care services, serving the Seacoast and Southern New Hampshire. “My mother was living in Florida and underwent surgery to remove half of her right lung. Three weeks after her recovery she suffered a stroke,” shared Judy. “I was on the airplane heading home from Florida praying, ‘God, how am I going to care for my aging parents?’ That is when I opened the airplane magazine and saw an advertisement for Seniors Helping Seniors services. It felt like my prayers had been answered in more ways than one.”

Senior Services

Seniors Helping Seniors Serving the Seacoast & Southern New Hampshire

 

“Between the four of us we have been through almost every major situation you can face in caring for a parent,” said Ben. He recounted the times that he and his business partners have provided or found senior care for their parents: from close and long distance, set up hospice, used assisted living, long-term care, set up their parents’ homes to meet their special needs and made their own home a senior care home. “All through those experiences,” he added, “we wanted to support our parents in their independence and dignity and to optimize their quality of life.”

Through it all, they experienced the full range of emotions from fear and guilt, to concern and joy, he added. “We were the adult child, the caregiver, the senior, the son or daughter and the decision-maker.” These experiences, together with a common bond in faith and careers in helping others, brought the partners close together and resulted in a commitment to starting Seniors Helping Seniors of Seacoast and Southern New Hampshire.

“We truly believe that the best caregivers are those with a lifetime of their own tragedy, struggles and joys,” said Randy. “The best person to care for a senior is a senior. When we share our vulnerabilities, our aches and pains, our disappointments in not being able to do the same things as when we were young, we need genuine empathy not just a sympathetic nod. Likewise when we share stories of our youth, former careers and grandchildren, we want to talk with someone who understands, because they, too, have their own lifetime of victories and defeats.”

“We chose to start Seniors Helping Seniors of Seacoast & Southern New Hampshire senior care because of the emphasis on finding loving, caring, compassionate providers. Anything less is not what we want for our parents, and not what we want for ourselves,” he added.

As the name implies, Seniors Helping Seniors exclusively hires seniors as senior caregivers to provide care for elderly clients. Some have extensive backgrounds in Alzheimer’s care and dementia care, a common reason to ask for senior care. Their background often doesn’t come from a textbook or a classroom—it comes from direct senior care to their own parents, friends and volunteer experiences. Seniors are uniquely qualified to care for Alzheimer’s and dementia clients—they have a lifetime of practicing patience, and they have no other pressing concerns to run away to after “work.” For our senior caregivers, this isn’t a job (they do get paid) but they are there because they truly want to give of their heart.

Seniors Helping Seniors offers non-medical home care for senior clients, including but not limited to:

Provide Senior Care

Senior Care

Hygiene Assistance, Cooking, Light housekeeping, Companionship, Personal grooming and dressing, Shopping, Doctor visits, Transportation, Yard work, Mobility assistance, House maintenance and small repairs, Overnight stays (24-hour care), Long-distance check-ins, Respite care, Alzheimer/Dementia care

Seniors Helping Seniors is a senior care company licensed through the Department of Health and Human Services with the State of NH.

They can be reached at 603-801-1936, judy@shs-nh.com, or www.seniorshelpingseniorsnh.com.

Also, if you are in need of other types of senior services (eg: Elder Care Attorney) in or near Exeter, try our Resource Guide.

Secrets of Great Caregiving Part Two

Date: August 28, 2013
Author: Judy
Categories: Stories, Stories & Tips

Wedding-315x271

One of the reasons that we feel safe and secure at home and with family is this simple fact: we know the people that we have lived with truly know us.

They know our likes and dislikes, our signals that it has been a good day or a bad day. The people who love us know the music, the jokes, the stories that we love to hear and those that make us cringe.

The people who know us best know if we are Red sox or Tampa Bay or even Yankees in our preference. They know if we go to church on Sundays and likely even know if we are first or second service folks.

The people who love us most know if we like a shower in the morning and if we will be in there for 5 minutes or 20 minutes. They know if we like to dress up to feel better or if we like to sit in pajamas and bathrobe to find comfort.

The people who love us have “learned” us. They know our story. They know the very things that make us, us. And we love them for that.

For those who are family caregivers it would seem that being a great caregiver is easy. We are talking about the very people who know us best. They are the person with whom we said “I do.” They are the person who we gave birth to. They are our husband, wife, brother, sister, daughter, son, niece, nephew, grand-daughter, or grandson. Or any combination of these.

So how could they not be great?

By the time we need a caregiver we may not be aware that we need help at all. Loss of judgment is common and even though we have not showered in 2 weeks we believe, no, we know, we do not need a shower. We are clean. And we can drive. And we have to get to work right away. Or get home to our children who are babies. Even though you, the daughter and caregiver is actually 55.

The obstacle to becoming a great family caregiver is often not a problem of the one needing care but of the caregiver themselves. A problem here for the family caregiver is that your judgment is perfectly intact. And so are your expectations of how your mother, father, husband or wife always behaves. Expectations are hard to dispel.

But shedding expectations does not have to mean giving up your agenda. It just may be executed differently.

Suspend your reality and enter theirs. Suspend your expectations of behavior and tap into that loving knowledge of just what makes your family member special and unique. Talk about the Red Sox or Tampa Bay, the dressing up and special day ahead. Re-establish the love each moment and guide the day.

The Alzheimer’s Association talks about “spending 5 to save 20.” Spend a little time to connect and save many more minutes battle free.

Growing up I never knew that my mother was not a morning person. She was up before us every day and making a wonderful breakfast, preparing school lunches while also getting ready for work. I never would have guessed she would rather linger in bed.

My father mentioned this recently in a casual way and now her morning routine with her present state of dementia makes perfect sense. So when she has refused to get up I ask if she wants a few more minutes. I leave and return in 5. I lie down on the bed and talk about the weather. My mother was always in charge of the weather in our home. Mom asks if everyone else is up. Her cue that she is ready. On we go into the day.

A great caregiver not only knows us and all or most of the facts about us, a great caregiver keeps those facts front of mind and puts those first.

When I visit with a family I have a deep desire to know the story behind today’s story. Today’s story tends to be about how mom is not able to cook anymore, or clean, or remember to shower. Or how dad can’t drive anymore.

The story behind today is how mom and dad met, where they worked and vacationed, raised children, laughed and loved.

 

I am not a great caregiver. I am part time. The scene above happens at our summer home, not at my home. I do reach for greatness and acknowledge my humanness. I know when help is necessary.

If you are a family caregiver and things get difficult remember the things that make your family member unique and add those touches. Try to let go of an agenda when met with resistance and return to a loving moment.

For those times when you need help, let the caregiver you have found know who your family member is. Share memories, pictures, and stories so they too can reach towards greatness.